Does it weird?

Assalamualaikum..

Its really a long time since I  last post. By the way, just wanna update my diary..

Does it weird being alone?

Just, pelik ke nampak orang sorang-sorang? Nampak menyedihkan sangat ke? Actually agak terasa jugaklah bila orang kata macam ni. As I goes for a jog on one fine evening.. as always, I much prefer jogging sorang-sorang because I taknak menunggu..and tak suka terikat.. bukan apa, bila bergroup, stamina kita lain-lain so, sometimes, kita naik semput, member steady and so on.. paham-paham jelah.. daripada susahkan orang better pergi sendiri lagipun bukan bahaya pun, tempat open.. Nak dijadikan cerita habis jog 3 round Tasik Shah Alam, I am to headed back.. On my way, I heard someone calling my name.. As I turned around I saw a guy which I cant barely able to recognise him at first.. So nak cover buat-buat kenal jelah kan.. so we have some chit-chat about school and so on.. (then I know that he is one of my schoolmates before *in form 6*) he asked,

 "Btw bell, kau jog dengan sapa ni? "-D

"lah, sorang lah..ade nampak aku berteman ke?''-Me

"serius ahh.. LONELY GILA KAU!''-D

Like, dah kenapa kalau aku sorang pun? lonely apanya?? jog kut.. bukan nak bersembang.. cukup target round tasik balik. tuje.. penting sangat ke nak kena berteman?? fyi, aku tak rasa sunyi pun. tak perlu simpati.. It is my choice. and pelik, kenapa nak typical sangat about being alone ni? lagi tenang kut.. Ada banyak masa untuk consentrate, berfikir dan tenangkan fikiran. same goes to yang makan sorang-sorang tu. Tak pelulah toleh 360 darjah semata-mata nak tengok orang.. Rilek lah.. makan sorang tak lonely pun la.. habis makan pun cepat. Tak faham betul lah dengan orang yang macam ni..

I've got a Letter!

Assalamualaikum,..

hahaha.. what a feeling!.. first of all, actually its not a real letter,..
26.6.2014.-I remember the first time i took a glance at my ex-boyfriend,..that feeling when his face came out in every things i did,.The first sight love feeling,,here im telling you,..its happened to me again. yeah..crazy LOL!

Astaghafirullahaladzim,...istighfar banyak-banyak,...

Ntahla,,. but its just happened that way,. On first week dkt skolah,.. I met him and *click* fell to him already..perghh hati ni lemah sgt,..his way are too too too awwwhh...hahahaha... *gatal!

*:DDD*

keyh just nak cerita a brief pasal dia..

*Lah sangat!*

His way,.. terserlah.. from what I've observe, dia sangat berkaliber,..ni boleh nampak dalam apa saja yang dia buat, terlibat dan dan berkaitan dengan dia,..the way he talk, the way he walk, the way he act,..First I guess yang dia dulu seorang ketua pengawas dekat sekolah lama but I think Im wrong bcoz when I asked his friends, diorang x mention pun bab tu,.. just maybe..

But then lama-kelamaan kitorang become closer..*ahah..dont get the wrong idea okeyh,..its all because of work,..* he told me his background,..that he think i should know,..hahah..lawak en??...whatever,..Itu lah jugak yang menyebabkan aku makin adore dia,. okay now, I think I should sign in into His fanclub...well,... IT seems so..by the way.. I already told myself that i'll never repeat the same mistake,..again.. hari2 bila berhubung dengan dia aku cubit peha to remind my self that 'NEVER GET INTO LOVE RELATIONSHIP AGAIN'.. "BELL,,wake up girl!! JGN FALLIN' LOVE!!!!!".. 

Just,..admire je kut,..x nak lah lebih2..penat dah sayang orang ni,.. kalau boleh x nak lagi experienced benda yang sama,..cukup sekali,..hahah,.. serik sangat dah nak inlove,..alah lagipun its just me feeling that way,.. I dont think he feels the same,.*Perhaps..

hampir setiap hari kami berjumpa and of course pasal kerja..YA ROBB,,.kuatkan imanku ..hahahah..and and yes.,,Aku yakin sangat yang ini cuma on my side,.. InsyaAllah,..lebih kurang macam,...perasan or syok sendiri or yang seangkatan dengannyalah,..hahah.. *crush jeh kott..

Dear you,..if you read this, please understand of what im trying to say here,..Dont get me wrong,..

with honour,Bella

Feeling Hurt

Assalamualaikum..

Its nothing on my mind right now..Perasaan pulak,..bercampur baur...rasa mcm nak gelak, then nak menangis,..at the end, senyum..yess..exactly that..aku hanya mampu senyum..
 Actually,..aku tak sangka dia akan sanggup buat aku sampai mcm tu skali,..you know what,..his tweet...arhh.I really dont wanna talk about this..perhaps some time..
..selama ni aku tutup sebelah mata je dgn apa yang dia buat,..I speak to my heart..percaya jelah,..tak payah dok serabut otak pikir,..at the end,...tragedy

Deal with it!

Assalamualaikum..

*books books and books..*

What a day,.."hari-hari hadap buku boleh jadi gila. Bosan lah,..haihh bilalah nak habis belajar." Tulah manusia,..tak pernah nak bersyukur,. bila ada peluang nak belajar, kita merungut,..bila peluang tu dah takde baru lah menyesal bagai,..masa tu tak guna apa dah..bak kata orang tua-tua,. nasi dah jadi bubur..so sementara peluang untuk menuntut ilmu tu ade terhidang depan mata, better appreciate it..

Act stress belajar tu semua orang rasa. me either. Lagi-lagi SPM is just around the corner..banyak bab nak kene focus n catch up. haa..tu lah sape suruh join aktiviti y yang kene banyak skipped class?? kan dah padah..nasib lah ade kawan-kawan yang sudi membantu..n him..hehe...* ape gunanya kawan ye tak?? hahah..

so I think, I've make up my mind...lepas ni nak gives fully attention to the class...taknak dah dapat markah teruk macam last mid-year exam dulu..You know what, 2 failed..*(addmath and chemistry)..ish ish ish..teruk kan?..Ini ke calon pelajar cemerlang SPM 2013?..

exactly NO!

Im Not Feeling Well..

Assalamualaikum..

fever?.ouchh

Seriously I hate fever..satu badan sakit..y kali ni punya demam lagilah..sampai 2 kali kene pergi checkup..ambil darah semua..haihhh..penat, letih..sakit..hurmmm

And yang paling sakit is,....I miss my hubbie...urrmmmm

Bila dah mcam nie, nak gerak mana-mana pun susah..so susah nak cari topup..then x dpt lah text or call-ing dengan dia...tu y double-triple rindu jadinya tuh..haihh...

*Damn!* I miss you a lot Hubbie!!!

Its the DAY!

Assalamualaikum..

 

4

Sayang!..esok 4 hb..awak ingat tak hari apa? saya harap awak tak lupa..

erm..before that, saya nak tanya..susah ke nak type a message?

kalau tak, kenapa awak tak text saya pun?..im waiting for it dear.

Atau, awak dah tak ingat saya dah?..saya ni membebankan bagi awak yeh?

yelah..dah la awak tengah banyak masalah, lagi nak tambah lagi dgn masalah dgn saya.

mesti awak annoyed kan? sebab tu awak malas nak ingat saya lagi..

hurm..

No text.No call.No conversation.

Im waiting..waiting for you to call me..or text me maybe..come on..its our special day, why cant i asked for that..its not that too hard..im not asking you to jump into a burning lake or what..simple..just a few word..Hi, maybe..or give me a direct call..uhmm..up to you lah dear..im not gonna forced you.. have fun :)

Its Not What I Dream About. Its about us.

With love,

BELLA 

Thank you :)

Assalamualaikum..

 

 Alhamdulillah,..masalah dengan Ridza dah selesai..Semua atas jasa kawan-kawan yang tak putus-putus bagi nasihat suruh aku fikir rasional..For Iqa,,I owe you..thanks darl..sebab jadi orang tengah n sudi bagi pendapat awak untuk tolong bell dalam masalah ni..Seriously I dont know what to do..yang bell tau cuma marah, kecewa dan sedih..tapi atas nasihat awak..Forgive and Forget..all these mess finally over..lega..

Tapikan awak..ada sorang lagi yang dah tolong guide saya..its Adan..even dalam hal ni..dia tolong bell jugak..

Die cakap."dulu awak bagitau saya, awak pilih dia..awak nak bagi die second chance sebab awak yakin yang dalam hati awak cuma ada dia..awak yakin yang awak akan bahagia dengan dia. Saya terima tu..sebab itu dah pilihan awak..masa awak cakap tu..suara awak confident sangat..saya tau yang awak memang dah tekad..tapi takkan hanya kerana hal macam ni, awak dah mengalah?..kalau betul awak sayangkan dia,..awak takkan senang-senang lepaskan dia. Think about it awak..He might be the best for you..dont waste him..He can take care you for more than 2 years..so, why cant he now.?,..jangan diikutkan sangat rasa marah tu..kadang-kadang..apa yang awak fikir tu tak sama dengan apa yang berlaku..Let him speak.."

"Awak apa yang saya cuba nak tekankan dekat sini, awak jangan buat keputusan melulu..Ingatlah balik waktu-waktu awak dengan dia..Ok lah awak,..saya taknak ganggu girlfriend orang lama-lama..huhuhu..Assalamualaikum"

Dia lama tak contact aku..ni pun through fb je kitorang chat..entah macam mana aku boleh terCeruta masalah aku kat dia pun entahlaa..terlepas kut..yelaah time die tegur tu mmg tgh sedih..anyway..thanks sangat-sangat..and for you,..gf you tgh merajukkan?..dah..gi pujuk lekas..biasalah tu,..nak manja-manja dengan awak lah tu..hahah..i wish awak kekal dengan dia..she seems nice..jaga die leklok yeh! babaiii!!

 Thanks for da advice!Appreciate it much :)